Weblog

Monday, 06 July 2009

  • Currently
    David Cook
    By David Cook
    see related
    Beginning of last week, I said that I will ask them to both fight for me
    But in the middle of the week, something happen... pretty complicated...
    One of them decided to dropped out.. and Honestly at that moment I was really disappointed.
    When he dropped out, I told myself that I don't want to be so vulnerable anymore..
    So, after that no matter what he said to get back in the game is not acceptable.
    I know it sounds cruel.. but i feel that my heart has been played (even though it is not his intention)

    So now Down to 1 person to concentrate on....Relationship? Not yet.. taking our time slowly.
    I just don't want to just into conclusion that fast as I might fall out of it fast.
    These days I have been spending time with him...
    There are moments where I still feel a little bit weird.. not in a bad way
    For example: if I have a blue black bruise, my previous one will straight away look for Zambuk and start rubbing
    So when I think about it I just Smile and rubbing it myself.
    The way they talk, they walk, they behave, they joke... it's very different
    If you really know both of them, you will understand why I say they are two very different person
    There's always a Pro and Cons in every person as nobody is perfect no matter how hard they try.

    Memories will still be memories.. Keep creating memories..


Wednesday, 01 July 2009

  • Yesterday I kept on singing the 我以为, somehow.. I finally realised who is this song is telling.
    If you know who you are... I just want to say.. Thank you for everything that you have done to me.
    You will always be a part of my life and There is no one who can takes ur place in my heart.
    我很感谢你, My life will never be complete if I have never met you b4.
    留在我身邊清。。。
    I don't care if there is anybody who will be jealous or against it...

Tuesday, 30 June 2009

  • Finally I can relax a little bit after yesterday.. Yesterday I felt lost, confused and tired of choosing.
    Yday I really wish that someone would just choose one for me.. I dun want to care about it anymore.
    BUT.. I know that is not right.. coz If it is not from my heart, I will hurt the other person again.

    So I thought carefully and slowly... what are the best decision.. I tried my best not to hurt both parties..
    I conquered my fear and say what I think.. taking risks with my decision.
    There is a part of me afraid that if one of them forfeit.. in a way I am the one that will be hurt
    Coz.. I will think.. am I not worth fighting for? Of course I will act cool if that happened..
    But I am glad that they both agreed to my Terms and Conditions.

    This is the craziest demands that I have asked for in my life.. =p~
    I will have to put in a lot of effort in both of them as well.. Dating 2 person is no easy job!
    Both of them have their own insecurities from their point of view.. and it is very interesting to encounter it.

    I promise myself these things to myself and to them for fairer judgement:
    1. I will not read any of their personal Blogs
    2. I will judge them based on their own effort, not based on other external forces
    3. I will not compare their talents.. as it is not fair.. instead i will compare the Effort that they put in.

    ... gile ini di kantor pada makan kerupuk soalnya tadi ada tukang kerupuk lewat...
    Gua ini lagi batuk en pilek belom sembuh... cuman bisa liatin en Senyum pas liat mereka makan :~(
    Haiz.. but I bought some Caramel banana Chips for my house... If u like it.. Come to my house to get some *WINK*

Monday, 29 June 2009

  • Gilee... akhir2 ini gua merasa weak banget..
    well.. mostly kalo di office sih.. like last Thrusday and Saturday (I came back for half day)
    Gua rasanya mo pengsan begini.. rasanya lemes..
    terus tiba2 kadang bisa blank kepala en thought.. what was I doing?
    But everytime that happen.. I will try to take a deep breath and pretend that nothing had happen.

    Now I feel like I want to disspear.. feel like going back Medan for few days or somewhere that nobody knows me
    Just want to be alone.. away from everything that I know.
    I don't know what to feel, what to believe or what to think anymore.
    everything seems to be contradicting.. my heart, my head, parents, friends' opinion and God's Guidance
    which one should I follow? most people will say my heart
    But I am afraid my heart is experiencing a temporary insanity
    I am NOT a person  to make decision with my heart...

    It's true that life is about taking risks.. but which risk should I take?
    Should I take a White or Black Box? As I don't know which one is better...
    I have swallowed my pride..think back all the things.. but still I dun want to decide.
    Coz I am afraid of that will the outcome are or what are the Karma will be..
    I hand is literrally Shivering... I will stop here..

  • I Finally able to find a website that allow you read the pinyin
    + Translate it quite Accurately ^-^
    That is why I can come out with this Translation..
    I think somehow it is ironic coz it is in a way explaining my situation now.
    even though the outcome is not finalised...

    So.. Enjoy :)



    我以为
    I thought
    Wo Yi Wei

    你总说不想有天让我知道,
    You always said that does not want to have a day that I don’t know,
    ni  zong shuo bu xiang you tian rang wo zhi dao

    你对他,有那么好.  
    You treat him that well
    ni dui da, you na me hao

    你说会懂我的失落,
    You said you understand my loss
    ni shuo hui dong wo de shi luo

    不是靠宽容,就能够解脱.
    Does not depend on tolerance, will be able to escape.
    bu shi  kao kuan rong , jiu neng gou jie tuo

     

     

    我以为我出现的时候刚好,
    I thought I appear at the right time
    wo yi wei wo chu xian de shi hou gang hou

    你和他,就说要分开.
    you and him are breaking up
    ni he ta, jiu shuo yao feng kai

    我以为你,已对他不再期待,
    I thought you are no longer expecting him
    wo yi wei ni, yu dui ta bu zai qi dai

    不纵容他再给你伤害
    do not let him harm you again
    bu zong rong  ta   zai gei ni shang hai

     

    CHORUS:

    我以为我的温柔,能给你整个宇宙,
    I thought my care able to give you the universe
    wo yi wei wo de wen rou, neng gei ni zheng ge yu zhou

    我以为我能全力填满你感情的缺口,
    wo yi wei wo neng quan li tian man ni gan qing de que kou
    I thought I can fully fill the gap in your feelings

    全心陪在你左右.弥补他一切的错,
    quan xin pei zai ni zuo you.  Mi bu ta yi qie de chuo
    Wholehearted ly be there by yourside to make up for his fault.

    也许我太过天真,以为奇迹会发生.
    Perhaps I was too naive, thinking that a miracle will happen
    ye xu wa tai guo tian zhen, yi wei qi ji hui fa sheng.

     

     

    我以为终究你会慢慢明白,
    I thought you will eventually understand
    wo yi wei zhong jiu ni hui  man man ming pai

    他的心已不在你身上,
    His heart is no longer with you
    ta de xin bu zai ni sheng shang

    我的关心,你依然无动于衷,
    My care remains the same
    wo de guan sing, ni yi ran wu dong yu zhong

    我的以为只是我以为.
    what I thought is only a thought
    wo de yu wei   zhi shi wo yi wei

     

    Rep CHORUS

     

    他让你红了眼眶,你却还笑着原谅,
    He make you cry ( red Eyes), you still laugh and forgives him.
    ta rang ni hong le yan kuang, ni que hai xiao zhe yuan liang

    原来你早就想好你要留在谁的身旁.
    it seems that from the start you know who you want to be with
    yuan lian ni zao jiu xiang hao ni yao liu zai shei de shen pang

    我以为我够坚强,却一天天的失望,                
    I thought I was strong enough, eventhough one day I have to be disspointed
    wo yi wei wo gou jian qiang, que yi tian tian de shi wang

    少给我一点希望,希望就不是奢望. 
    Give me a little less hope not expect
    shao gei wo yi dian xi wang, xi wang  jiu bu shi she wang.

     

     Rep CHORUS

    他让你红了眼眶,你却还笑着原谅,
    He make you cry ( red Eyes), you still laugh and forgives him.
    ta rang ni hong le yan kuang, ni que hai xiao zhe yuan liang

    原来你早就想好你要留在谁的身旁.
    it seems that from the start you know who you want to be with
    yuan lian ni zao jiu xiang hao ni yao liu zai shei de shen pang

    我以为我够坚强,却输的那么绝望, 
    I thought I was strong enough, but lose in desperation
    wo yi wei wo gou jian qiang, que shu de na me jue wang

    少给我一点希望,希望就不是奢望.
    Give me a little less hope not expect
    shao gei wo yi dian xi wang, xi wang  jiu bu shi she wang.

     

Thursday, 25 June 2009

  • My head hurts, my stomach feels like butterflies and I think I will be sick soon.
    Males banget ke Doctor.. Abis harus jalan jauh lg :(
    Now I am thinking whether I should go or not..
    Abis kalo sakit kan males jalan jauh.. that is why I am Blog-ging..
    I wish I can blog with my BB.. hahaha...

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

  • I am bored!! and I have 15 minutes in the Office before I clock off..
    After this, I am going to AMK to collect my stuff from his house
    Followed by Dinner with my AMK Gang..

    Actually I am a little bit Dilemma..
    Should I go or not? But My common sense tells me to do it
    Even though my Heart tells me not to go..
    I am just afraid what I will see, what I will feel..
    I have decided to go! Maybe this will be the last time I will ever step into that house.

    I am just wondering.. how is the Hamster doing?.. Coz he said that he is going back..
    Who will take care of that poor little guy?

    Honestly, I still care.. but somehow everything that I say seems like a death penalty
    I tried to be nice so many times.. but it is still the same
    Now.. I decide to keep quite.. keep whatever I feel and think
    So all I will do is read and hear his songs.
    and Life goes on...


  • 我以为 (Wo Yi Wei)
    I Thought

    你总说不想有天让我知道,
    你对他,有那么好
    你说会懂我的失落,
    不是靠宽容,就能够解脱


    我以为我出现的时候刚好,
    你和他,就说要分开
    我以为你,已对他不再期待,
    不纵容他再给你伤害 


    我以为我的温柔,能给你整个宇宙,
    我以为我能全力填满你感情的缺口,
    全心陪在你左右.弥补他一切的错,
    也许我太过天真,以为奇迹会发生


    我以为终究你会慢慢明白,
    他的心已不在你身上,
    我的关心,你依然无动于衷,
    我的以为只是我以为


    我以为我的温柔,能给你整个宇宙,
    我以为我能全力填满你感情的缺口,
    专心陪在你左右.弥补他一切的错,
    也许我太过天真,以为奇迹会发生


    他让你红了眼眶,你却还笑着原谅,
    原来你早就想好你要留在谁的身旁.
    我以为我够坚强,却一天天的失望,                 

    少给我一点希望,希望就不是奢望.  

     
    我以为我的温柔,能给你整个宇宙,
    我以为我能全力填满你感情的缺口,
    专心陪在你左右.弥补他一切的错,
    也许我太过天真,以为奇迹会发生


    他让你红了眼眶,你却还笑着原谅,
    原来你早就想好你要留在谁的身旁.
    我以为我够坚强,却输的那么绝望,  
    少给我一点希望,希望就不是奢望.


    For the MV:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PtgXYxISVU

    I posted the wrong lyrics yesterday and I just realise it when I really listen to the song

    I can't read the mandarin, But I somehow Understand what the Singer is trying to Convey.

Tuesday, 23 June 2009

  • Currently
    1st [The Shinee World] A Ver.
    Stand By Me
    see related
    I feel weird that Me and him is communicating Through our Blog
    Honestly, I am not trying to tell him anything.. Just expressing what I am feeling
    It's hard to express your feeling in Facebook as I dun want to be so Transparent in front of everybody
    Eventhough, my Blog link is there.. But there is a low possibility that people will view if I don't post it on my Profile.

    I am not going to comment anything about his blog
    Nor defending myself on anything that he said
    There is no point of doing it..
    I understand all he does is expressing himself~

    Just please take good care of yourself..
    Don't do anything to hurt yourself and dun have funny thoughts
    I have said these too many times and you will react negatively anyway
    BUT I will still keep reminding u...!!!
     

    Ok enough of that Drama about me and Him
    Now I am going to continue with my Blogging activities~

    I recently bought BlackBerry bold and connected to Blackberry server
    It's been about 1 week now.. and I AM SO ADDICTED
    Hey people.. If you have BB.. Please add me ok! Ask for my Pin ^-^
    I love this BB services as I can catch up with my friends overseas
    Less the International SMS cost + I am always online in MSN
    Also I look Professional in Singapore... xp~
    Apparently in Singapore most people who use BB is Higher Management people
    (at least that is what I heard...)

    Great Singapore Sale.. I am so broke..
    I spent so much that When I went online to check my Credit Card statement
    I have to think for a while... DID I BUY ALL THESE STUFF???
    hahahaha... I admit I do buy a lot of stuff.. but I cannot remember it is THAT MUCH~
    Ehem.. now is down-time for my Shopping habit.
    So, Now I am switching to Gym~
    and I can Creambath in Gym also.. Since my hair is Fairly Damaged =(

    So yah.. Anything I will let u guys know *Wink*


Monday, 22 June 2009

  • Currently
    Think To Much
    不完美
    see related
    ...Don't know where to start nor what to say..

    It's been over a month since I decided to walk my own path,
    it hurts in a certain way and there are moments of insanity.
    Moments where you look back and think... is this right?
    However, when I tried to cool down and really think about it..
    My decision is still the same..

    My heart still feel the pain reading all those letters..
    Reading those Blogs...
    Your emails and Songs.. that are the 2 things that I still can't touch
    I still have feelings for you but somehow feelings are not sufficient

    No matter how many sorry s,
    It know it will not fix ur broken heart..
    But somehow in my heart I hope you forgive me
    Last week.. maybe is our last meeting~
    But I do Hope that we will meet someday and I can see that you are Happy.

    If you are reading this, You will react in negatively~
    You will go back to your COLD self before me
    I am disappointed.. Coz it seems that you've not learnt anything
    Well, who am I to judge now...
    Coz Whatever I said will look so wrong now

    (To be Continue..)

Mochi85

  • Visit Mochi85's Xanga Site
    • Name: Shirley
    • Country: Singapore
    • Metro: Singapore
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 12/16/2005

About Me

  • LoVing EverY MoMent Of My LiFe and No ReGreTs In Anyway...

Weblog Archives

Don't worry - your calendar is here… to see it in action just click "Save" above and refresh the page.

BitChinG CoRnEr

Recommended

[no recommendations]